Why is it that rarely anyone feels like they actually have work-life balance?
There are many reasons we might feel that either our work is taking away from our life or that our life is taking away from our work. But the most fundamental, in my not so humble opinion, is that we haven’t really defined what either work or life mean for us, let alone what it looks like to optimally balance the two.
And so we chase after an ill-defined goal instead of living the life we want, intentionally.
Let’s look at the 3 decisions you must make if you want to achieve work-life balance.
Work-Life Balance Decision #1 – How much work time do you want?
It might feel backwards to start by looking at work time, but it’s essential.
- If you are a corporate mom working 50+ hours / week, you are probably looking for less time working.
- If you are a stay-at-home mom looking for a creative outlet, you probably want to spend more time working.
I enjoy my free time as much as the next person, but I also love making a meaningful contribution to the world and expressing my creative side. Even when my digital products are paying the bills, I still want to be doing something new to grow my business. If you are here, on a website for online business owners, it’s likely that you don’t want a 0-hour work week, or perhaps even a 4-hour work week.
So how much do you want to work? Be specific.
My answer is that I want to work between 20 and 30 hours per week and take 6 work-free weeks of vacation per year. I’ve achieved my optimal work week. I’m still working on the vacation part (although I did manage a 3 1/2 week vacation with very minimal work time over the summer).
This is an important decision. Give it some thought. And then move on.
Work-Life Balance Decision #2 – What constitutes “life”?
One of the reasons our work-life balance gets so screwed up is that we don’t really know what falls on each side of the equation. If work is time spent making money or working on your business, then is life simply everything else?
When we say we want work-life balance, it typically means that there are slices of life that we aren’t giving as much time and attention to as we’d like. But what slices? And how much time?
- If you worked less, would you be excited to spend more time doing household chores, yard work, and home improvement projects, or do you really want more time with your partner, kids, or simply to be alone?
- If you worked more, what would you be willing to take away from your life as it exists today? There is no judgement here. An honest answer might be some of the time you spend with your kids.
And absolutely, positively, do not forget to write yourself into this equation. Exercise, showers, eating, and just taking time to breathe can all important, as can time with our partners and doing fun activities together as a family.
Get specific about what you will be doing with your life time. Answering questions like “how much time do I really want to spend with my kids?” or “what are the most valuable slices of time I can share with my kids?” can lead to new insights.
Work-Life Balance Decision #3 – How much gray area are you going to embrace?
So little in life is black and white, and our time is no exception. I thought through this post while showering. My 15 month-old daughter was hanging out in an exersaucer. Was that work time, care-giving time, or self-care? Ah….a little bit of all three.
I wrote this article on Honoring my desire for work time while watching my kids play at the water table.
But not all of my time is a gray area. I’d go insane.
(Actually there was a time when I only worked during my daughter’s naps, and it was crushing. It can work when you are getting started but is not a long-term time strategy.)
Now, I have hours each week solely dedicated to creative work, and many hours solely dedicated to being with my kids.
Being clear about how much gray area you are OK with as well as when you want to step fully into one area or another, is a decision to make consciously. Otherwise you risk slipping into multi-tasking and not feeling like your desire for life or work is getting fed.
Finding your personal work-life balance mix
If you’ve been wondering how to find work-life balance, you’ve got three decisions to think through. Don’t expect these answers to come easily. And expect your answers to change over time.
I’m constantly thinking and re-thinking how I invest my time and becoming more intentional about what I do with the moments I’ve been given in each day.
How do you approach your work-life balance?